This happened to me in Mumbai when I went there for Job hunt at my cousins place. I and him, miles away from family and friend in a small 1bhk apartment. My cousin worked there and from the day I came into his flat I had to share almost every work he did, from laundry to home making to cooking. Since I didn’t even know how to make an omelette, I gave over the duty of that to him and rest I decided to take up.
If I had no interviews, my daily routine would be to wash the utensils, clean kitchen, broom the house and keep the flat as neat as possible. You wont believe I spend my whole day on this, trying to do everything correctly and slowly I had no time for myself. And slowly as days passed I took pace and found some extra time to watch TV and surf the net. That is when I realized how bad my mother would have felt when ever I or anyone asked her this question
” What do you do all the time?“,
“Don’t you get bored, having nothing to do all this time” ,
“Why don’t you do this, you waste a lot of time” , and many such questions of which I got only response “ I look free to you, don’t you see how much work I do “.
Though I knew she is the reason why my room was always this neat, why I had my clothes in my cupboard every time, why I never had to bother about any of the small things from my socks to shoes. She is the one who did this for all of us, even my dads.
Sadly this is what I learned from parents and my parents learned from grand parents. This is how I was brought up from the childhood, my sister played with ‘Kitchen set’ and ‘Teddy Bears’ when I had ‘Guns’ and ‘Cars’. When we became a little big my mom would call my sister to serve things and I was left to entertain the guests, and whenever I tried to do the same my grandma or my mom would say “No, this isn’t your work its your sisters”.
That day while washing utensils, I questioned this to myself why didn’t I ever learn to cook, when my sister knew everything about cooking. Why didn’t I ever bother about this, was it my fault or my parents ? No, this is one amongst the many Chalta araha hai concepts our patriarchal society has taught. Something which has been transferred from generations to generations. Gladly I am one amongst the many who would stop this right now and let it not transfer to generations after me. I would certainly not commit the Sin. In my dictionary its a sin, if you teach your daughter to do house hold work and keep your son away from it.
Some people say that religion propagates this divide of work and I totally disagree with them because if it was like it then our beloved Prophet Muhammed (S.A.W) wouldn’t have ever asked us or himself did this, washing utensils and helping in cooking. There are several Hadiths which quotes that our prophet shared every house hold works. I feel the same is preached by every other religion on this earth. I hope from now on people will understand the necessity of sharing the house hold work and teaching your child the same. No matter how much rich you are, children must learn how to cook, wash his clothes and participate in every house hold works. So that in the future one doesn’t hesitate in doing house hold work and gets successful in eradicating the thought that “Its our Mother’s job alone” from the society. And this would certainly develop them, when I did all these things I started respecting maids and cleaners who did this. We start to become down to earth by respecting each and everyone’s work.
The above picture is to depict the change the patriarchal world has brought. I am not talking about the change in means of washing clothes, of how easily we can wash the clothes using washing machine now. But I am here to bring forward with you the disastrous truth of our world. We are presently in a quest to conquering Mars and moon, communicating in such speeds that the lady in Black & white pic would have never thought of and so much more advancement that one can tell by just looking both the pics. And the only one thing that didn’t change or is similar in both pics is the ‘women’.
The women doing the washing, even in this modern world men think its their wives job to wash the clothes and not theirs. Today almost both the couples work outside yet mostly the household works like cooking and laundry is set for the ladies. Thank god that girls have fought and changed the society a lot, we need to fight more of these Chalta arahai hai things from our society. Just look at the statistics below
I think we all must pledge that from today we will #ShareTheLoad and not commit the Sin, of teaching girls alone the house hold works, but boys also. Check out this new TVC that Ariel has brought, I am sure you will be made to rethink of your stand.