A 40kB Pensieve

In the thick of emails, texts, app notifications and numerous spams my phone does 2 far-out beeps. Distracting me from the tabs opened I fetch for my phone to see a FB chat from one of my beloved guru, “Ping me ur whatsapp and calling number, its urgent”. Zapt! I go deep into the reverie.
I see college going red to blue like the rest of Kolkata (transition from CPM to TMC raj),
Initial days (when I got to know the actual meaning of the word “Intro”), Utkarsh & Kritanj – The only best thing that happened to me at Narula, college fests, friends, crushes, girlfriends, protests, fights, foes all of them on the displair like being on the sets of some sci-fi movie. Swiping them right I go scanning the whole feed at the rate of 268 mph. I am stuck at the last one, the strongest, and a gigantic one, so clear and vivid like not from the past but the present

Staring the 3 storey monument from the gate
I shoot all my questions one by one, to none but the One
Not many days have I got and nor any news of MNC’s
37 subjects down, 4 more to go, and have I retained any?
An Education loan to be repaid, and I still earn nothing
My mom says they started teaching me since I was one.
It’s been 20 years since then, and what have I achieved?
Majoring at Electronics, I search for job in IT
Excellent in managing, I endeavour for a technical profile
Leave the career aside, what else did I achieve here?
Never dated or hooked with any, played all saint to gain what
My name, religion and appearance scares half the world
Sticking to my principles, I am labelled as extremist
Despite following Manjunath and Bhagat
I couldn’t blow whistle against the passport officer
And the society has only one thing to ask
Beta job mila kya?
My exasperation, raging eyes and devilish mind commands
To let go the highly pressured magma in me
I silently go and sit in front of the gate protesting
Protesting for everything…

Not many of you know me except a meagre, for I am the One-Who-Must-Be-Not-Named.
Since I have bored you all by my devilish thoughts, let me enlighten you by the fragrances that sprout everywhere I go. I am one of the founding mothers of the crossroad of innovations, Kritanj. A dream come true for me and my fellow founding mothers, I miss it so much that I even own 60% of its shares, which can be seen if you go through the reveries shelved in my mind palace.
The outstretched two years of joblessness, loneliness and struggle that I have been through obliterated all the darkness in me, from it came the answers to all my questions, a path, a direction to move forward to. And despite of having a rupture in the career graph, today I am satisfied and enjoy working as an Assistant Manager in a small renewable energy firm. If you are about to leave the college and not yet placed, then this thought is apt for you:

“No great thing cometh suddenly into being, for not even a bunch of grapes can, or a
fig.” – Epictetus

This short article was published in my college magazine in the Alumni section; and I am shocked that I made it, well I am more surprised that I agreed to write and come up with something for the magazine and I actually took out time to write this and it turned to be worth it.



7 thoughts on “A 40kB Pensieve

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  1. Hi Mr Secret! Hello from Firefly. 🐝 How have you been? I found you yesterday and then I scanned your entire blog for what new things have been posted here. 😛 Glad to be here again.

    I loved the Harry Potter reference in the title, hehe. 😸 I could relate to your words so well, even I am pursuing something that I am not really passionate about and what actually is my passion, is just kept aside.

    And, you’re so creative huh. I so appreciate “Kritanj” (which I searched about yesterday after reading your post but then forgot to come back and comment 😹) You know you’re an inspiration for me, despite having all the bad days you still kept going through the darkness and found the light at the end. That requires will. Some just give up in between thinking there’s no light. Your words inspire me to keep going. 💙 Btw, I didn’t understand one word here, what’s the meaning of Extremist?

    And finally, congratulations! I am sure your words must have inspired so many others like me. 🌼 I think you-should-definitely-be-named! ☺☺

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey miss firefly, have been missing you. Where have you been.?

      Thank you for all the appreciation.
      Like always you bring so much love and happiness to me.

      Extremist meaning you’ll get it by simply googling. But if you can wait I’ll planning to write on it since you’ve asked me.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Yayy, I missed you too, Mr Secret! And I’m so sorry I unfollowed you before. 😐 I’ve been underground, now I’m back above the ground huh. So, I’m searching for my previous gang members again. I want a reunion! 😹

        Haha, how sweet of you. And you bring encouragement and enlightenment to me. 🌼 Glad I found you again. And no, I don’t want to Google. Aap batana mujhe toh. I can wait till you write another blog post. 😛

        With lots of good wishes and regards.
        -Firefly 🐝

        Liked by 2 people

      2. You went underground, that sounds interesting. You know everyone goes through this phase irrespective of the reasons but it has its own charm and beauty.

        Like I said you are and always be an inspiration, you bring me reason to write again.

        So Thank you very much for coming back. And looking forward to reading your underground story and your regular posts. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Yesss, you’re right actually. I enjoyed being underground too. And abi I came back, I feel good here too. 😻

        Ahaan, so abi I’ll always be around annoying you and asking you to write more. 😛 Haha, yess, there’s one interesting thing I’m going to write about today. Aap karna read huh. And, please tell me your name is not Beginning. I just know, it’s not. It cannot be. 😐

        Liked by 2 people

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